If I may, let me whine.

[Michibacy]

Warning: Massive amounts of complaining, venting, self loathing ahead.

A simple question, request, desperate plea. (All jokes, ill tasted humor are welcome as I'm in the pits already).

In this world, how does a young 20 something family of 4 survive financially? I've just about done everything to help cut costs of living but absolutely cannot figure out how to have more than $5 in my banking account 4 days before pay day. We have internet, which ends in September (can't cancel without paying $500 plus the remaining months worth of payment so that's out of the question). We both have work phones, have high efficiency appliances that came with the farm (i've tested them and prove they are working fine), we use LED lighting to help off set electricity (our bill is still outrageous, $220-270 bucks a month) I've turned down the water heater to 135*F, we shop at Aldi for food, the girls are off formula, I have a low loan on the truck, low mortgage, PLPD on the van and full coverage on the truck (totaling $130 a month), home insurance is wrapped up in our mortgage, medical bills poor in as per usual, no cable or satellite tv.

I feel like we can't contribute to our girls' lives when we are just scraping by (if it can even be counted as that). Any projects I'm working on are paid for by private sponsors or by money I've made through my business, and can't use that money for home use without paying higher taxes on it.

Seriously folks, what do I do to help lower my cost of living? I spend over 99% of my income and have barely anything to show for it. I'm considering male prostitution, belly dancing or mercenary.

 

[Knucklehead]

Order some used books by Dave Ramsey from Amazon. He has some great tips and has helped me a lot. It's a process.

 

[Michibacy]

Thanks Knucks, I appreciate it. I've heard good things about Dave and honestly haven't ever given it a try. I'll have to do that.

How do you come to terms with having this paycheck-to-paycheck life style?

 

[Knucklehead]

As Dave says - baby steps. You'll get it when you read his books.
I think you'll appreciate his faith based approach. Best of luck.
Total Money Makeover and Financial Peace are good starters. You can add the budget workbooks later if you decide to go all in. You're starting at a good time. You're young and can turn it around, but your wife will have to be on board with it or it's a no go.
We were already doing most of what he recommends but did change a few things. I'm 54 and debt free except for monthly bills and we have a good retirement built up. You can do it. One day your money will work for you instead of the other way around.

 

[Jitterbugdude]

This may not work for you but it did for me. For starters, I built my own house. Never having built anything before I built a detached garage first. I figured if it came out looking like the leaning tower of Piazza that I would pay someone to build the house. It came out pretty darn good looking so I built the house. Along the way I figured out how to lay block, build frames, put up roof trusses, run plumbing etc. When we moved in I had 60% equity in my house and paid it off when I was 38. I also work on my own cars. In almost all cases I have to go out and buy special tools first but it is still cheaper than going to a mechanic.

So, I guess my recommendation would be to learn how to do things yourself. Simple things like installing your own water heater, changing your own oil, doing your own shingles etc will really save you a ton of money. Youtube has just about anything on it you need to know.

It's a tough world out there and it seems each generation has a harder time surviving.... Good Luck!

 

[Knucklehead]

I built my own house also. Saved 50-70 grand by being my own contractor. Never buy a new car, the depreciation is a killer. Let somebody else take that financial hit and get the bugs worked out of it. Cut up your credit cards and pay cash for everything.

 

[deluxestogie]

One other bit of good news. With small children in the home, you should set the water heater so that it never can exceed 120 degrees F at the faucet. Since 120 is hot enough to scald your skin, you always dilute it with cold water, even when you take a really hot shower. Wash all your laundry in cold water.

For winter, add clear plastic film to the inside of each window frame. Spend some $ on weather stripping.

Save a lot of cash for gasoline by driving like Granny. Endeavor to keep the tachometer under 2000 rpm while accelerating. This alone can increase mileage by about 1/3.

Since most Americans spend a huge proportion of their grocery money on garbage (beverages, chips, dips, desserts, prepared foods), there is usually some room for substantial savings, just by purchasing only nutrition. Also, most Americans eat two to four times as much meat as is healthy. Reduce your meat servings to 1/2 their present quantity, and maybe skip meat altogether on Mondays. (A per day meat serving is about the size of a deck of cards, but you don't really need any meat to speak of.)

When I walk down the grocery isles at Walmart, I find that well over half of the isles (entire, long isles!) have nothing but crap on the shelves.

I suppose that you could sell the truck, and replace it with an old one with rust holes. That eliminates the vehicle loan and the full coverage insurance.

With the medical bills, you may be able to negotiate a lower monthly payment plan.

Everybody feels financially squeezed at least some times. Usually it's a matter of cash flow (over spending), rather than inadequate income.

I realize all this sounds facile and patronizing, but I offer the same suggestions to my 38 year old son.

Bob

 

[SmokesAhoy]

I'll second jitter bug and deluxe stogies advice. I'm also young with a family of 4. Like jitter, I do all my own repairs and maintenance, buying the tools is cheaper than hiring out the job. Like deluxe said, water heater at 120 and plastic film on the windows.

Last year was the first year we used the oil furnace too as fuel was cheaper than wood, but normally we burn for heat.

Buy an old vehicle on craigslist, my last 3 vehicles were less than 3k after initial repairs, and we get as many years as we can out of them. Furthermore with such low cost vehicles comprehensive insurance is not needed so we just go with liability and that saves a bunch too. No TV. We cook all our meals. We also shop at aldi and find nothing wrong with that.
Track all expenses, see where it's all going, until you know where the ship is leaking you can't patch the hole. Track everything.

We have no debt other than house, and that should be paid off within the next year, or possibly 2. I don't make a lot, I've just managed to really lock down expenditures. I'm also cash poor but time rich, so that has really helped me justify doing everything that normally other people hire out on the home, cars, tractor etc. If you don't have much spare time, track where that is going just like you did with the money, it's all the same thing ultimately, that's why a high paid doctor or lawyer would be silly to do everything themselves, typically they are money rich and time poor.
Keep us updated.

 

[webmost]

How do you come to terms with having this paycheck-to-paycheck life style?

Quit. See if you like that better.
Or, be glad you have a paycheck. Too many don't.
Thankfulness eases the pinch.

If you can't get by on what you make, make more. I tell you we could not enjoy life half so much without both of my side businesses, tiny enterprises that they are. One biz only makes around 1500 a month; the other maybe a third that. It's still bucks. Adds up. Buy an old murdercycle that's been parked for years, fix it, and flip it. I used to flip an old bike every winter; pick it up in Fall, sell it in Spring. The innerwebz are chock full of money. Take something you like anyway and monetize it on the webz. Everything from soap making to tutoring to drawing a cat (yes, you read that right) can turn into money. It doesn't have to set the world on fire, so long as it stays out of the red, and it doesn't take all day to do. The guy across the street cuts my lawn, cause I don't like to. I give him cigars and thirty bucks to do it. So what oldster round your neighborhood needs help? Freecycle.org is always advertising stuff people are giving away. If I had a pickup, I'd go snag a free fridge or loveseat now and then, and sell it on craigslist. Free at both ends. Like the homeless guy who bicycles round the office park here every day drawing a trailer. Steada bitchin, or standing on the road divider with a cardboard sign, he's recycling for a living. Get a heat press to print shirts, then you and the kids can come up with slogans to put on shirts and sell them online. Schidt, I could ramble on like this all day. Money is everywhere. If you can't find money, find something to trade. Trade is everywhere.

The bulk of our prepper brothers here are going to tell you how to cut the balogna thinner and thinner. I say baloney -- go out and make more bologna. Money is power. Getcha some.

That way you can eat meat.

 

[Knucklehead]

Always make out a list before you go shopping to help avoid those impulse buys. Buy only what you need and nothing more. Take inventory of your fridge and pantry while you make your list. Clip coupons. I've seen my wife save $100.00 on one trip to the grocery store by using coupons. She has a little folder and keeps them organized. Take advantage of Walmarts free shipping for orders over $49. Walmart is a 40 mile round trip for me so I save gas and I avoid impulse buys by staying out of the store and shopping from a list. (If I go in the store I end up in sporting goods or with a CD or DVD I don't need) I haven't been in a Walmart store in almost three years but I order coffee and stuff from them with free shipping. Don't spend money you don't have. Paying cash will help you develop good spending habits. It's easy to see where your money is going if you have to open your wallet every time, and you see how much you have left. Credit cards are a killer. Spending money you don't have develops poor spending habits and just keeps digging your hole deeper and deeper. Keep the minimum credit limit on credit cards that you do have and only use them for stuff like paying for gas at the pump (avoids going in the store for more impulse buys). Pay your credit cards off each month to avoid interest charges. Zero interest if you don't carry a balance.

Dave has great tips for paying off debt. Example: Pay off your lowest debt first. Pay minimum payment on all others and put all money toward paying off that lowest debt first. You get a win and build confidence. Then do the same thing and start on the next one. Highly recommend the books.

 

[Smokin Harley]

Thanks Knucks, I appreciate it. I've heard good things about Dave and honestly haven't ever given it a try. I'll have to do that.

How do you come to terms with having this paycheck-to-paycheck life style?

Did it for years with my ex-wife...even when I worked a regular job with overtime. we were still low on funds. Found out very late she was racking up credit card bills by shopping on a whim every chance she could. I can't prove it but I suspect she possibly blew it on the local gambling boats too, she always lied to me about where the money went. I digress. I'm not saying your wife is ,but just letting you know you aren't alone. I've been there myself.
How much time is left on your truck financing? If you can clear that ,things will get easier. Cut cable? Sounds like your girls are very young so I will guess your wife doesn't work so she can be home with the kids,which I applaud. Sometimes at that point its a dead even trade off to have 2 jobs but pay a sitter and they watch your kids grow up while you run your ass off making ends meet. Its hard to get by without both adults having full time jobs. Can your wife possibly have one of those stay-at-home jobs...I'm just guessing here. If I may suggest this. I know of 2 home based businesses that are red hot right now in our area and have been for a couple years. One being Rodan Fields ladies makeup. The other is Visalus energy and nutrition. I have no idea what your area is like. Worth a shot. Hang in there.
Had another idea to P.S. -
If you don't already...fish and hunt for your meat. Yes I know its an initial investment you may or may not have. But a license only costs about the price of a steak. I'm sure you have a buddy or two that does and they could probably spot you for gear a season or so. Meat in the freezer you harvested yourself off of Mother Natures raising tastes better anyway. You'd be surprised how good venison chili or sausage with rice or mashed taters is when the winter chill hits . Done that for years as well. Most of the time it was good peace and quiet away from the wife and good thinking time to gather your own mind. Some great ideas just get thought while you're sitting in a tree at sun up.
Have the wife investigate some hard core coupon shopping help sites ... Stores have these silent secret deals if you buy so many of something they give you a kickback or a coupon for something else that you would normally buy together. Dairy comes to mind. buy two dozen eggs and get a gallon of milk free. Mac and cheese or boxes of rice 10/$10 or something along those lines.
Buy cheap cuts of meat and learn how to tenderize them and flavor them , eat the heck out of them until you can't eat it anymore. Watch store ads for sales or managers special bins in the store. Sometimes they can sell stuff at a discount that may be at its "sell by" date limit but its under its expiration date. There are ways,my friend.

 

[ChinaVoodoo]

My advice is likely the most difficult. It's the best I can do, what with the austerity measures of Knucklehead, darn right common sense of Bob, especially the don't buy premade food part, and the hustle of webmost.

I would just get a job: a better one, or more than one. Prove yourself and work overtime. That's what affords me my lifestyle.

I would also say, and I've seen it plenty, there's a way to schedule your lives so that the wife can also have a job. It wouldn't necessarily be hard for her to have an extra 10 hours of work a week and for you to spend more time with the children. No child care expense. You are the child care. That's an extra $400-$800 a month.

 

[SmokesAhoy]

My wife is a stay at home mom. I looked at what she made and the hours it ate up and the fact we never had time to make memories since we were both out. We save all the cash for sitters, child care etc and have peace of mind that the children are being watched by parents and not people who'd rather be doing something else. Also with one income I get most of the taxes back at the end of the year. Even without all those money reasons I'd still like to think we'd choose the traditional family life just because it is so much more rewarding... For us.

As to meat and hunting/fishing, it's fun. Makes memories. But for stocking the freezer buy a chest freezer and when aldis does the meat deals fill that sucker up. I bulk buy turkeys when they are 39 or 49 cents a pound, hams when they are 89 cents a pound and whatever super cheap deals the stores have throughout the year.

Greens are expensive. What can you eat out of your yard? We freeze fiddleheads, amaranth, lambs quarters and all kinds of other greens I can't think of right now that originally started as weeds here. Just because amaranth is a bastard to get rid of doesn't make it taste bad, compare to spinach but it is exponentially better testing. Before you know it the weeds can't keep up with your consumption and freezing of them.

Even if you don't try the wild foods just getting the chest freezer and stocking up on the manager specials really makes sense.

 

[buck]

Depending on your home you can build a coach house for rent or rent a garage out, or any possibility of building a basement suite ? Maybe even consider using Airbnb, maybe a few $100 per month ? What is renting costs vs Home ownership in your area ? Maybe you'd need to down size to a condo or rent an apartment. I know with two kids it sucks but you may have to. Any immediate family living in your area ? I know a friend who is letting his brother build a coach house on his property and they worked out some sort of deal, much cheaper than buying his own lot. When I purchased my home I insisted that it have rental potential so did some small basement reno and rented out the basement. If the darn cost of building a coach house ($250-300k ) wasn't so expensive I'd do that as well.

 

[Michibacy]

Thanks everyone for the responses, I've regained my sanity (slept more than 5 hours last night, did some stumbling around in the garden and spent the evening in with the family). I appreciate all your folks' support.

We received a generous gift (completely out of the blue, had a check wrote out to Sparrow Hospital) a family member wanted to help us out with some inheritance money they received and paid off one of our medical bills from having the twins. A true blessing and I couldn't be more thankful!

Not quite out of the boiling pot yet, but thinks are looking up.

As for renting out rooms or what not, rent is quite steep in our area, typically more than a mortgage, and with the twins at home my wife wouldn't feel safe having someone else live here or else I would consider it. Our basement suffers from being wet, so I wouldn't feel comfortable renting it out.

As for food: I do plan on hunting again this year, the last few years I've been the low man on the totem pole so I haven't been given the opportunity to take off work to go hunting. (50 hour weeks during hunting season/harvest season for crops). We do have a quite healthy garden which (lord willing) should save us a few hundred dollars in produce, the daughters absolutely love beans, tomatos, cabbage etc so as long as all grows (or goes) well we should be able to offset that cost. Also, chickens are cheap, around $4 a month in feed from our local co-op, and will start laying mid august. I grew up on a chicken farm so eggs got eaten in some form at every meal. We were up to about 3 dozen a day. I hope to supplement our income by selling them, even if we only get an extra $20 a month, that'll atleast cover a tank of gas in the van.

As for selling the truck, I did shop for around 5 months (heavily) looking for a decent used truck that was a beater, but I didn't find much of anything that didn't have major issues right off the bat (transmission, engine etc). The truck is actually the lowest expense, with an average payment of $105, plus the insurance making it $205 a month, is a daily driver, use it on the farm, haul wood, at work etc. I do keep my eyes open for beater though, to turn into a "farm vehicle" (SMV sign, no insurance, no registration, can drive it up to 50 miles away on back roads going 25mph or less). Even for this truck, which we thought was running perfect (ha yeah right) I had to drive 3 hours away for. (all in all it's not a bad truck by any stretch of the mind, the mechanic we had look at it clearly had no idea what he was doing, the difference between a bad pulley and a cam shaft) I plan to do almost all work on the vehicle within reason, this last repair (cam phaser block out, front engine work etc) took the mechanic (my cousin) 15 hours to do, something that I don't realistically have the option of doing.

We also like the traditional family life style. My wife grew up with 3 other siblings, homeschooled, went to church on sundays and what not, and her mom never had a job until the youngest daughter turned 19. I grew up with a mom who worked mostly from home (doctors office insurance billing), homeschooled since 3rd grade and also enjoyed that life style. Day care costs around here are around $600 every 2 weeks for 1 infant (under 2 years old) and from everyone we've talked to - no quantity discount. She was making roughly $2000 a month at her old job that was full time (but had decent benefits) but we are feeling drawn to homeschooling as we see how this world is going. Most public schools in this area are kinda scummy and we don't want our kids growing up like that if we have a say in it. BUT that being said, if she can get a job a few nights a week, that chipping in will help as well.

Thanks again folks