Local names we use are Bull Pine or Black Pine. Mostly found at higher elevations, 5,000 feet & up (1,524 meters), around here. They are survivors, who can tolerate the deep snow and live. They also make good firewood. The rounds are usually small enough in diameter that you don't have to split them. There are always a lot of dead ones to saw up.
But I don't get the humor?
Wes H.